As I make my way over to the renovated hearse that passes as the family car, I can’t help but assume the worst. I’m late and I’m not as prepared as I told myself I would be. Every night for the past two weeks I wrote out everything I would need to do to prepare myself but people can surprise you, yourself included. I jump into my car and as I turn the key in the ignition my neon ukulele keychain sways to the rushed beat of my heart. For a split second after, I still live in a time where the worst hasn’t yet come to fruition.
As the car speaker (I blew the driver’s side speaker out 2 years ago after a particularly long night) started to pump out the words of George Carlin I couldn’t help but force my fist into the steering wheel. Seeing as the horn was also broken, the resulting thud could hardly block out Carlin’s voice.
“I’m behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet and pushing the envelope…”
As much as I appreciate anyone mocking euphemisms tonight was not the night for that. I’m already halfway down the street as I throw the Carlin CD out the window and begin searching for my Space Jam CD to get me prepared for tonight’s action. I really thought Thom would have been the one to call me, but things would still be okay with Rosanna being the caller. I had about 15 minutes till I got to the vacant football field next to Thom’s house but I was perfectly on time. Space Jam was always my favorite movie of all time time. I think for most people they liked it because of Michael Jordan dunking to R.Kelly songs or because of Bugs Bunny. But I, I liked how the little Martian guys were able to take away power for those we didn’t appreciate it, just like that. I also loved Bill Murrary.
By now I was almost at the field and I was ready to help out my friends in their time of need. As I sprinted across the field to the endzone were Thom and Rosanna were seated, I couldn’t help but imagine how good of a scene this would have made in a movie. I sat down next to Thom as he held hands with Rosanna.
“Took you long enough. I’m only going to say this to you once and then we are moving on and never going back,” Thom said all awhile I stared at myself in the reflection of his eyes. I really wish I would start keeping a comb in the car.
I nodded in agreement as Thom started to tell me all the dreadful events that had occurred to him and Rosanna that day. I did my best to act surprised, I had been practicing every year in case someone threw me a surprise birthday party. As Thom finished I looked over to him and looked into his eyes and past my reflection. I cleared my throat and delivered my line.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore, this couldn’t happen to two nicer people.” I stayed in character until the complete hollowness of the words was too much to bear and slowly felt a smile meet my face.
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